Why I’m having trouble with this.

This being blogging. I’m just not feeling it recently. I’m busy at work, and when I’m not at work I have a new(ish) house to work on. I could blog about work or the state of my new(ish) house, but when I’m not doing one of those things I’m usually intentionally not thinking about one or both of them because I feel like I should get off my ass and do one or the other. Not thinking about something makes it hard to sit down and write about it.

So… What am I doing when I’m not working on work or home? Well, tonight I had a couple of hours and I… surfed.

I started at ScienceBlogs, and after a quick review of a few articles found myself following a link to BeliefNet, where I read “Why I Am Hostile Toward Religion“, an excerpt from “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins. This lead me to an interview with the same, then an interesting Q&A with Karen Armstrong on fundamentalism and Islam. I had now spent awhile on this site, and decided to look around a bit, which quickly lead me to the Belief-o-Matic. I answered their 20 questions and, no surprise to anyone, I am 100% Secular Humanist. This lead to the American Humanist Association, and then, inevitably, the Wikipedia entry for Humanism. After editing the entry to correct a very minor misspelling I clicked on a user page, which in turn led me to the entry titled “List of songs deemed inappropriate by Clear Channel following the September 11, 2001 attacks”, then “Censorship in the United States“, then something called the “1943 Surprise Hurricane“.

At this point, seeing that I was about to go wikabout (sorry), I stopped myself and thought, I’ve just looked at an interesting bunch of stuff, how could I tie some of this together into a blog post? Maybe I could think of some amusing biographical anecdote, my history with religion, my… no. Nothing there. Maybe something more serious, I could go from the humanist to the fundamentalism to the 9/11 and end it with the list of songs. No, too much work, I can’t put all that together, and even if I could I don’t really want to.

Now, I don’t want to get too pseudo-psychological, but I think that the intentional suppression of home and work thoughts in an effort to “relax” have actually had the opposite effect on my subconscious, making it work to avoid certain topics and, in short, stressing it out. I’m going to limit what I think about but to make that a finite list I’d have to think about what I’m not going to think about, so I can think of nothing or I can think of everything, but not in much depth. Either that, or it’s 1:45 in the morning right now and I can’t sleep. One or the other.

Either way, I succeeded in writing a post. A long, rambling, insomniac’s post. Do people even still believe in the subconscious? I think I’ll go check Wikipedia.