So I’m quitting smoking again. I’ve now been a smoker for 20 of my near 36 years, and enough is enough. Also, they quit distributing my brand in the US, so my favorite smokes are now unavailable. I started the QuitSmart program at work yesterday. The idea is wean me off of smokes over the next two weeks by smoking successively crappier cigarettes until my quit date. Starting Monday I’m on Camel Ultra Lights, the following Monday I go to Carlton Ultra. By the end of that week I’ll probably be glad to quit, Carltons are nasty.
The biggest problem I always run into is not the physical addiction, which is a bitch at first but always subsides, but the social addiction. Having smoked since the age of 16, I don’t know how to not smoke.
Smokers find one another and are more likely to start talking to one another because you know, right off the bat, that you have something in common. You share a vice, you are, in many places, the unwanted other, and there is camaraderie in that. My social network at work spans many different departments because I smoke, which can be helpful when you need to get something done. When you go to a party or a bar, and there are mostly people you don’t know, you can always talk to the people who smoke. Young or old, male or female, straight or gay, conservative or liberal, you share at least that one thing, you are part of a community sharing a common experience.
On the other end of the social spectrum is the alone time. Have to walk 20 blocks? Have a smoke. Stuck at the airport for awhile? Have a smoke. Someone in the group at work said they like to walk around their apartment complex at night to stretch their legs and get some fresh air. Do that with a smoke and you have a purpose, do it without and you’re a creepy guy sulking in the bushes.
All of this leads me to an open question for all my 3 non-smoking readers. What the hell do you do with yourselves? Are you all creepy night sulkers who only know the people in your row of cubes at work? Do you find yourselves sitting at your desks for 10 hours at a stretch because you have no reason to get up? Do you sit at parties and stare into your drink, not knowing if the guy next to you loves fly-fishing as much as you? Do you ever feel that sense of community and shared experience?
I’m starting to wonder if I can even communicate what it’s like to a non-smoker, looking over the above it all looks like shit, so if you are a smoker and would like to add your two cents, please do.
I don’t know what to tell you buddy. I’ve always gone out and hung with my smoking friends on occasions you describe. I have never smoked though, so I don’t think I’ve ever really had to cope with the urge that might inspire in you, given how long you have smoked. At parties I just find friends who aren’t smoking and talk with them. If they have an itch to go out and get a cig, if I don’t think the conversation is so pressing that I want to continue it outside, I’ll just stay in and wait for them to get back.
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I also quit smoking regularly maybe ten years ago, and for the same reason: it was no longer possible to get Sobranie Black Russians in this country. Plus, they were $5.50 a box at the time, I really don’t want to know what they would cost now.
Long walks and such — can’t help you, I spend so much time in my own little mental universe, it wasn’t unusual for me to light a cigarette and forget about it after the first drag. But when sitting at a table with friends or other such situations, I laced my fingers together or crossed them across my chest. Not terribly social, but it occupied my hands. So does a pen or chopsticks or a straw. As for the food problem that makes quitter gain weight, I like hard candies, the sugar-free varieties are quite tasty.
Occasionally, I do smoke a fag in social situations, especially when I’m playing poker. And I always regret it because NOBODY I can bum weeds from smokes anything as high quality as my beloved Sobranies.
I quit 4 years ago this month. That social aspect you’re worried about is really no big deal IF you get past the feeling of forcing yourself to not smoke. I’m a musician and I’m in “social” situations with plenty of smokers all the time, and it made no difference to me. It’s a psychological thing, I think. How better to explain it? Okay, I’ll try this: I realized, or made myself realize, that one thing (the social smoking crowd) had nothing to do with the other thing (whether or not I smoked.) If I decided to smoke, I’d smoke whether I was around those people or not, so consequently, being around them and their smoking shouldn’t affect me. And it didn’t.
I’ll add, for information’s sake, that I had started smoking at 14, and I quit at 37. I’ll also add that nicotine gum and Creme Savers helped a LOT. I couldn’t have done it the way you are doing it because I was already smoking the cheapest possible cigarettes.
The walking/taking a break solution: IPod or MP3 player. You’re not a creepy guy but a trendy fellow with undoubtedly a killer selection of tunes you’ll discuss with anyone else with wires hanging out of their ears. If you don’t have a player yet, you’ll soon be able to afford one since you are no longer buying those expensive overtaxed stix.
A big part of why I was so uncomfortable with a recent ex is that he constantly left me at parties to go outside and smoke. I had to fend for myself for 15 minutes out of every hour, often with people I didn’t know. It sucked, and I told him so.
Good for you on your resolve. I hope you succeed.
I quit on December 20th and have only smoked twice since then and both times were in social settings with our lame friends, so I understand the concern about sliding in those circumstances. Maybe the answer is to get more of our lame friends to quit too so we can be strong together and united in our non-smoking suffering. I think Steven and I are pretty close to never picking a smoke up again – at least closer than either of us has been in years. I think you and Elaine can do it too. We will support you – if I see you lighting up, I’ll just slap it right out of your mouth – that will be FUN!
You are overlooking the fact that the non-smokers have THAT in common. I think it’s interesting there are a variety of reasons someone doesn’t smoke, there’s basically only one reason people do smoke…. they’re addicted. Some to the nicotine, some to the behavior and routine. But it’s addiction just the same. Just talk to the non-smokers about anything you would talk to the smokers about. Besides, once your behaviors change, your habits will change. My smoker friend says he “forgets” to smoke when he’s with me. Non-smokers have the choice to stick with something without having to interrupt it to go smoke. When we are waiting, we tend to visit with the other non-smokers.. or read. 🙂 If this program doesn’t work, Wellbutrin works really well about helping fight against the smoking cravings.
I remember being hardcore, I smoked Camel non filters since I was well I guess about 16 also. I finally gave up the habit about 8 years ago. I am a a non smoker now. But at work and in previous jobs I noticed that I also identify with the smokers. For my social needs I go to the smoking “tree” or area. I always walk right up with the same greeting “Hey smokers.” I am always welcomed and do not feel disciminated against for being a non smoker because. Venting is universal and that is what we all do at the smoking tree. I still get the benefit of hearing the latest and networking and am still regarded as a part of the group.
Oh yeah and as far as the quitting part, well I just woke up one morning and decided to quit. I was really tired of hacking up a lung every single ever loving day! I made up my mind and that was all. I know…I wish I had some trick or medication or something, but the truth is, our minds are that powerful. Somehow I channeled into it and that was the beginning of the rest of my life. There were a couple of times that I was weak (read: I was drinking) and lit one but the first taste was so disgusting that I threw it out. That happened twice and never again. I don’t eat to fill the void, or anything else. I have battled other addictions and did the exact same thing. All I can tell you is when you get the urge…just wait a while and if you get the urge again…keep on waiting. Does that sound dumb? Oh well.