patrickrhett

On 06/03 I gave you the sleepy stealth dog, and this week we continue the theme with the catatonic christmas dog.

Merry christmas!

I have decided I need a Flybook. It’s a tiny laptop with a screen that can lay totally flat or swivel around to become a tablet. And it comes in a sexy red or blue. It has Bluetooth and Wi-Fi and you can stick a sim card in it and it’s a mobile phone. I could blog from anywhere, and did I mention it’s hot? It’s so hot that, if you have one, blond women in tight short shorts will lounge on Scandanavian couches and stare at you longingly when you use it. It’s true.

The lovely wife pointed out to me that I’ve been a little on the angry side recently, to which I vehemently responded, “No I haven’t! What are you talking about!?” When I realized, about 3 seconds later, how ridiculous my reply was, I felt a little stupid, but still pissed. I’ve been angry about my dog, my house, my job, but mostly I’ve been angry about my government.

It may not help that youth, and later, substance abuse, allowed me to block out most of the Reagan and Bush the First presidencies. I remember Reagan’s voice, and I remember some soundbites. “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” and “We begin bombing in five minutes.” Of Bush I there’s only the day we invaded Iraq and Dana Carvey.

I’m sure this lack of perspective makes it harder for me to accept Bush II as what I hope he is, a temporary swing of the political pendulum to the right. I keep telling myself that eventually the people in power get too stupid, and too greedy, and they isolate certain factions in their base, and they polarize the opposition, and they get voted out, so the other side can get the opportunity to do the same thing.

I really hope I’m right on that, but, in the meantime, giving myself a stroke every time Bush says something stupid would bring me that much closer to death… well, every time he speaks. I’d be brain-dead within the week. So I’m gonna try to chill… at least until the next election.

Read this.

Ponder no more NPR or PBS.

Sign this.

Feel free to tell me if you think of anything else to do.

U.S. CONSTITUTION

Article. VI. Clause 3:
The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the
Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and
judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several
States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this
Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United
States.

Ethical Atheist – Quotes
“The decision points up the fact that we need common-sense judges who understand that our rights were derived from God. Those are the kind of judges I intend to put on the bench.”
– George W. Bush

And just for fun, his dad, from the same link as above:

“No, I don’t know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God.”
– George Bush

Check out the rest of the quotes on that page, they’re super.

**The link between the first two quotes was brought to my attention by Episode 290 of This American Life, a fine radio program.

He may not be in jail, but we can still mock him and anyone who supports him. It’s the American way.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at the Jackson trial.

Triumph lots of other places.

This weekend saw many family members coming into town, and they’ll be here for the next week. I offer this as an excuse for not posting since the 9th. I could regale you with stories, like the one about the one-year-old cousin being raised bilingual who, when she hears the Mandarin word for “thank you” (something like “shay-shay”) actually gives a little bow (so very cute), but only family really appreciates family snapshots, and my family doesn’t read this.

So instead I give you children’s monster art turned into adult monster art.

How does this apply? It doesn’t. Children, adults, monsters, family… make something up. Do I have to tie everything up with a neat little bow for you people?

But instead of South Carolina, can we make it an island? Maybe you could have Hawaii instead. I hear it’s nice there, and I’d be willing to give up Hawaii and one of the stars on the flag if I could get you all to stop voting in my elections.

Group promotes secession from U.S.

On April 25, Gregory Despres arrived at the U.S.-Canadian border crossing at Calais, Maine, carrying a homemade sword, a hatchet, a knife, brass knuckles and a chain saw stained with what appeared to be blood. U.S. customs agents confiscated the weapons and fingerprinted Despres. Then they let him into the United States.

Um, ok.

The following day, a gruesome scene was discovered in Despres’ hometown of Minto, New Brunswick.

Really? How surprising.

At a time when the United States is tightening its borders, how could a man toting what appeared to be a bloody chain saw be allowed into the country?

Um, cause he’s white?

Bill Anthony, a spokesman for U.S. Customs and Border Protection, said the Canada-born Despres could not be detained because he is a naturalized U.S. citizen and was not wanted on any criminal charges on the day in question.

And because he’s white. And his name’s Greg, not Muhammad. And he’s not brown.

“Nobody asked us to detain him,” Anthony said.

Would they have had to ask you, Bill, if he was wearing a turban, or would you have maybe taken some initiative?

Whole article here.

(via The Huffington Post)

Quiz via Blue Parrot…

…and below, my completely unsurprising results.

You scored as Materialist. Materialism stresses the essence of fundamental particles. Everything that exists is purely physical matter and there is no special force that holds life together. You believe that anything can be explained by breaking it up into its pieces. i.e. the big picture can be understood by its smaller elements. Materialist 100% Modernist 81% Existentialist 81% Postmodernist 63% Idealist 19% Cultural Creative 19% Romanticist 19% Fundamentalist 6%

What is Your World View?